St. Joseph Hospice Services

Bereavement

One of the most meaningful features of the Hospice program is bereavement follow-up. Because patients and their respective families are special to us, our relationship with the family continues even after the patient's death. Contact is maintained for up to 13 months providing support during the time of transition. During this bereavement period, St. Joseph Hospice provides counseling, support groups and connections with other resources when needed.

There is no way to fully prepare for death, neither for the person whose death is imminent, nor for those whose lives will continue. Hope, in this case, is the knowledge that physical death does not diminish shared memories or ideas. Hope is the essence of hospice care. The following is quoted from a person whose family member had recently died:

"Hope is knowing that little by little, I hurt less and that feelings aside from sadness, aching and anger are starting to come back. My life is different without him/her and it will never again be quite the same. Yet I know it will be okay in time."

PRACTICAL TIPS
To Help Those Facing A Serious Illness

When someone we know is facing an illness, especially a serious one, we often feel helpless. We stammer the weak phrase: "Just call me if you need something". Have you gotten a call lately? Here are some practical tips to really help someone facing an illness........from people who have been there. Share with a friend.

1. Don't avoid me. Be the friend, the loved one, you've always been.
2. Touch me. A simple squeeze of my hand can tell me you still care.
3. Call me to tell me you're bringing my favorite dish and what time you are coming. Bring food in disposable containers, so I won't worry about returns.
4. Take care of my children for me. I need a little time to be alone with my loved one. My children may also need a little vacation from my illness.
5. Weep with me when I weep. Laugh with me when I laugh. Don't be afraid to share this with me.
6. Take me out for a pleasure trip, but know my limitations.
7. Call for my shopping list and make a "special" delivery to my home.
8. Call me before you visit, but don't be afraid to visit. I need you. I am lonely.
9. Help me celebrate holidays (and life!) By decorating my room or home or bringing me tiny gifts of flowers or other natural treasures.
10. Help my family. I am sick, but they may be suffering. Offer to come stay with me to give my loved one a break. Invite them out. Take them places.
11. Be creative. Bring me a book of thoughts, taped music, a poster for my wall, cookies to share with my family and friends.......an old friend who hasn't come to visit me.
12. Let's talk about it. Maybe I need to talk about my illness. Find out by asking me: "Do you feel like talking about it?"
13. Don't always feel we have to talk. We can sit silently together.
14. Can you take me or my children somewhere; I need transportation to a treatment......the store......to a doctor.
15. Help me feel good about my looks. Tell me I look good, considering my illness.
16. Please include me in decision making. I've been robbed of so many things. Please don't deny me a chance to make decisions in my family, in my life.
17. Talk to me of the future. Tomorrow, next week, next year. Hope is so important to me.
18. Bring me a positive attitude. It's catching.
19. What's in the news? Magazines, photos, newspapers, verbal reports, keep me from feeling the world is passing me by.
20. Could you help me with some cleaning? During my illness, my family and I still face: dirty clothes, dirty dishes, dirty house.
21. Water my flowers.
22. Just send a card to say, "I care".
23. Pray for me and share your faith with me.